Prayer Wall

Anonymous

My little guy is struggling being away from me where he is staying at a host family and I am feeling seriously torn about what is the right thing to do. I feel like my only options is either bring him home and continue to let my mental health battle slide or find him an adopted family who will care for him while I can't. struggling with feelings of shame, guilt and feeling so torn and conflicted about this situation. I really need God in this situation and have been praying for direction but could use more prayers. I don't like seeing my little man struggle and in emotional pain as he is but don't know what the right thing to do is. I feel like no matter where I turn, someone will get hurt or someone will lose. I feel like I am so alone on this walk and journey in my life.

Also my suicidal ideation has come back and it more frequent within the last few weeks. I am sure its because of all the stress I am under at the moment and the hardship I am facing. I was in hospital once before because of making suicidal plans and visualizing it happening and it was scary. I dont want to go back to the hospital again so trying really hard to fight these suicidal thoughts as the hospital experience was very traumatizing for me. I really am feeling like I am at my limit and living on the edge. I feel like I am so close to giving up on everything. Please pray for God to help me fight this battle i am in and see me through to the other side. I dont want death to be the answer as my son needs me:(

Received: May 11, 2022